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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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Bloody knuckles

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Okay so, I woke up this morning feeling pretty normal. Then slowly everything started to piss me off. I couldn’t walk straight and it was clear I was off balance. I keep bumping into things and hurting myself in the process. 

For example, trying to move quickly but instead are met with an endless stream of accidents, such as bumping into things and breaking them, tripping over people, you know, the dumb shit. So this was an example of how my day sort of went after I woke up. That was around 8:30 am. 

It’s now 1:01 and I’ve managed to knock over crystals from my altar, spill salt water, knock over a bunch of Mary Jane that I JUST bought, and sit here and make a blog just so I can rant about how shitty my Christmas Eve was turning out.

I literally punched my wall and split my knuckles before I started typing this. It was over the most insignificant things. I guess I was what people would call now; triggered. 

Dude, fuck today. I hope everyone else is having a better day than I am.

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A Lie That Became True

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I remember when I was younger I used to get so excited for Christmas. It always filled me with such joy and shit but then as I got older something became very obvious to me. 

After I learned a certain childhood symbol was a fucking Myth I began to watch my parents get angry and stressed out. Then it all made sense and eventually I told a lie that became the truth.

I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, and a little part of me died a little when I said that I didn’t want anything. They freaked and I could tell they were a little happy but the front they put on for insisting was pretty believable. It then became a habit years on and I just eventually came to terms with the fact that I really didn’t want anything for Christmas. I got a job, I supported my own wants. 

The only things I wanted were things that I couldn’t make happen. You know the same old, “World Peace”, “Cures for all diseases”, “Basic Human Equality”, “End all hunger”, “Being Happy”… 

Being where I am now, today, in this very fucking second, I miss how it used to be. But I know that I’ll never be able to go back… and sometimes the things we think we are lying about may eventually be the truth and you knew all along.